The Woman Within
by Catnip
Summary: Misao reflects on growing up, and the woman she became. And how she stole the heart of her own Lord Aoshi


Disclaimer: I do not now nor ever shall own Rurouni Kenshin  
  
Authors Note: Here is an Aoshi/Misao fic. In this story Misao learns that there is more to being a woman that what she thinks there is. It's written from her point of view. I hope you enjoy.  
  
The Woman Within  
  
by Catnip  
  
I always had one true love. In my entire life I never found anyone who could surpass him in any way. No matter what, my feeling for my Aoshi were always there. When I was still a little girl Aoshi left me with Gramps at the Aoiya. I was devastated when I learned that he had left without me, but eventually the shock wore off. The people there became my family, but still I missed Lord Aoshi from the minute I closed my eyes that night he left. It occurred to me when I was about 13 that I wanted to be married someday and to be in love, and I thought of all the qualities I'd want in a suitor or potential husband. I wanted someone strong, I wanted a leader, someone who could support a group, someone worth living and dying for. After I thought these things over I realized that I wanted Lord Aoshi. I had always loved him deep down and I had known it ever since I was a little girl, but that moment made it all so clear. I was meant to love Lord Aoshi.  
  
When I was 15 I finally convinced Gramps to let me go out and look for him. I traveled all over Kyoto and Japan, searching for any sign of Lord Aoshi and the Oni Wa Ban. I'd go back to Kyoto after I'd gone up and down certain routes. When I was 16 I met a man named Kenshin Himura when I was out on a long journey. Himura led me to Aoshi finally. And though I finally got to see him, Lord Aoshi was in terrible shape. I wanted to be with him and talk to him and ask him questions about what he had been doing, but everyone around me told me to be patient and wait for him to come around. I couldn't touch Lord Aoshi. He had entered a spiritual cocoon. Through meditation and lots of prayer he was working to rebuild his soul. It was a few months after he had been brought back that I realized this, and I realized the importance of what he was doing, Miss Omasu suggested that I meditate as well. She told me to concentrate on the person I wanted to be. At 16 I could fight and travel and do all sorts of things other girls couldn't, but I didn't know who I wanted to be. Impressing Lord Aoshi was all I cared about, but then it occurred to me that that reason was incredibly selfish. I had no motive to want Lord Aoshi to like me, I just wanted him too for no reason at all.   
  
So I began to think about things. I did as Miss Omasu suggested and I meditated. Sometimes I'd do it at home, other times I'd ask Lord Aoshi if I could meditate with him. He always said yes, but I'd sit behind him in the back of the room, knowing that he needed some privacy. I would study sometimes, and help the others cook and clean like I always had. And I'd practice me fighting more. I prayed for Lord Aoshi and I prayed that I could become the woman that he wanted. It seemed as if I were preparing for something, but I never knew what. I didn't know it at that time, but Aoshi and I were both in a state of solisolitary confinement. He was learning to get through life, I was learning to grow up. Something else happened around my 17th birthday. Biologically, I became a woman. One morning I woke up to find blood on my futon. Miss Okon and Miss Omasu later told me what it meant. They said I was a late bloomer. I began to grow, in all sorts of directions. It was scary, and I was very nervous about being around Lord Aoshi. It took another year or some to get through all the gushy emotion. On my 18th birthday Gramps said that soon he'd have to find a suitable husband for me. He and I both knew that wasn't a happy thing.   
  
But Lord Aoshi had changed. He was happier, much like the Aoshi I knew as a young girl. We'd sometimes go for walks together, and talk about all sorts of things. Sometimes he'd even buy me things. The best surprises were when I'd find a flower on my pillow, but he did the same for Miss Omasu and Miss Okon also. I once heard Gramps and Lord Aoshi talking one night.  
  
"I'm going to have to find a suitable husband for Misao soon. She's finally becoming a woman, but it's such a shame."  
  
"Why?" Lord Aoshi asked  
  
"Well because I'll have to marry her off to someone she doesn't love. The only person in the world who she has ever loved has been you."  
  
After hearing that I went back to sleep. But I couldn't. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was still pretty thin, but I actually had breasts. My hips had gotten bigger to for some reason. My friends in Tokyo probably wouldn't recognize me the next time Lord Aoshi and I went to see them. I couldn't imagine being married to any other man than my Lord Aoshi.   
  
I told all this to Kaoru a few weeks later when Lord Aoshi and I were in Tokyo. Then she said something that I'll never forget  
  
"Misao, it's not the body your in that makes you a woman. It's where your heart is. It's knowing your place as female. We are meant to be servants. Not just to men, but to all mankind. Every woman in her heart know how to serve in someway. Miss Megumi serves others as a doctor. I serve by teaching kendo and taking care of Kenshin and Yahiko. Being a servant doesn't mean that your not superior, it's acknowledging that someone else has more authority. And even though you may not see it right away, you have always treated Aoshi with utmost respect and authority, because you want to serve him. During these past few years, you both have had to change. Aoshi had to heal and learn how to trust again, and you had to learn to become the woman you are now. Now you both are ready."  
  
For some reason Miss Kaoru can always tell me the right things to do. When we got back Kyoto Lord Aoshi came to see me one night.  
  
"You know Okina has been on the lookout for potential suitors for you." he said  
  
"Yes, I know" I replied, hanging my head  
  
"Well, I told him to stop"  
  
"Why?" I asked  
  
"Because, I've talked it over with Okina, and we agreed that it would be best for you, if you married me."  
  
"What!" I said in surprise "Are you serious, I'm really going to be your wife!"  
  
"Yes and it's not just to make it easier on you or Okina, I wanted this. I've felt very strongly about you for the past few months. You've become wiser and stronger and very very beautiful" he said gently  
  
Aoshi poetic voice rang like bells. I had never been more happy. The way Aoshi held me that night, the way he kissed my lips and touched me, it still gives me chills. This is why I keep fighting for my Lord Aoshi. Knowing there was a way to overcome all that life had put between us. I vowed to serve him as his wife. I learned that the beauty of a woman doesn't come from how attractive she is on the outside, but the gentle and patient spirit that comes from within. 


End file.
